it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
