maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
