Rock
Scissors
Fuck
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
