She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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