the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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