ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
