Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
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Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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