FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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