brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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