he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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