a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Need sex. Gaining weight.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
