Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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