Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
