i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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