I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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