To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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