when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
