I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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