so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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