he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
