i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
