i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
