I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
