you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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