You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
