best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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