Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
