week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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