Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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