last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
