Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
