I looked at my own cervix.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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