do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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