Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
