it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
