Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
