He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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