We're like a lot better than the average bears
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
