after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
