I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
