I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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