I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
