you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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