Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so explain again why im purple
no
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I looked at my own cervix.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
