Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
