Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
