how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
