so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
