I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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