well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize