I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
