im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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