She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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