I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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