we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
