I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How's work?
Spinning.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
