Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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