I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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