They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
