Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
