How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
