he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
