The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There's even glitter on my cock...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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