why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
